In 2016, I’ve been focused on using positive affirmations in my life to help stomp out negative self-talk and negative thinking. We are pretty hard on ourselves sometimes. We certainly would never want to hear our children saying or thinking about themselves what we sometimes say and think about ourselves! It’s been an empowering and challenging journey working on this so far this year!
As I work on speaking and thinking life to myself everyday, I can’t help but think about a time when I was hardest on myself, a time when I could have really used some positivity and life breathed into me. The five years when my husband and I worked through infertility were probably some of the wildest and darkest rollercoaster years for my self-talk and thoughts.
I’m a pretty positive person and a woman of strong faith, but my world was shaken and rocked so hard during those five years. There were moments of calmness and hope usually quickly followed by many more patches of sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, and hopelessness.
Looking back at that time now, I wish I would have handled everything with more patience and grace, but to be honest, when you are in the trenches of infertility, emotions are high and hormones are crazy. You can barely see out of that haze most days. I remember thinking, “You’ve got to stay positive, any negativity in your body won’t help the situation,” and that thought would help keep me above water for a while.
I don’t think I was ever harder on myself or meaner to myself than during infertility treatments. I felt broken and useless and lost.
When you are going through this, there is nothing anyone can say to you to make it better and honestly, although mostly well-intentioned, almost anything someone says about it just makes it worse. BUT there are things you can say to yourself to make it better and if not better than more bearable and perhaps even more grace filled.
So, to all of my beautiful sisters out there going through infertility treatments and/or longing for your little one, this is a reminder from someone who has been there and felt what you have felt, to be a little more patient and kind to yourself.
I’ve thought each of the below statements while experiencing infertility and I wish I would have known about positive affirmations then. If you are speaking this negativity to yourself, start today, to instead speak these words of life to yourself, because you are worth more. Your imagine of yourself is clouded by deep longing, difficult challenges, and likely hormonal stuff that doesn’t make the situation any easier.
So, please, please, speak life…
1.) Stop this: I am broken. My body doesn’t work right. SPEAK LIFE: I am a beautiful creation of God. I am unique and nothing about me is a mistake. I am thankful for my body and my health. I am thankful to be alive. I am strong and fertile. My body is a blessing.
2.) Stop this: I’m less of a woman, because I’ve failed at the very function my body was created for. SPEAK LIFE: I am fully woman and fully beautiful. My body is amazing and capable of miracles. I am grateful for the gift of being woman.
3.) Stop this: This is all my fault. What have I done to deserve this? Why am I being punished? SPEAK LIFE: I make wise and healthy choices for myself, my body, and my fertility. I always do my best. I have done my part. I am a positive and happy person and I only attract positivity and happiness.
4.) Stop this: Would my husband marry me again if he knew we’d have to go through this? SPEAK LIFE: My husband loves me deeply and I love him. We lean on each other during these challenges. We communicate openly about our struggles and emotions. Going through infertility treatments will bring us closer together and make our relationship stronger. Our relationship is a true blessing.
5.) Stop this: Everyone around me is getting pregnant, but not me. SPEAK LIFE: I am genuinely happy and excited for my friends and family who become pregnant or have babies while I am waiting. I am not jealous or resentful of them. They give me hope and remind me that it will soon be my turn to become a mother.
6.) Stop this: I’ll never get pregnant or become a mother. SPEAK LIFE: This wait is teaching me exactly what I need to be a great mother: patience, humility, and fortitude. I trust it will be my turn soon. The waiting will make becoming a mother even sweeter, it will be a moment I cherish forever. I visualize holding my baby in my arms.
7.) Stop this: Maybe I’m not supposed to have kids, because I’ll be a terrible mother. SPEAK LIFE: I will be an amazing mother, always striving to be the best mom I can be. I will take this time of waiting and turn it into a time of preparation. I will work on myself, so I am ready to be everything I want to be to my little one. I’ll be an amazing mom to amazing kids!
8.) Stop this: I am a failure. I can’t get pregnant, what else can’t I do? SPEAK LIFE: I am capable of amazing things. I have accomplished amazing things. I look forward to the next chapter of my story, the chapter where I become a mother. I am comfortable with me. Something wonderful is about to happen to me.
9.) Stop this: My body is weak. SPEAK LIFE: My body strong and healthy. I am determined, resilient, and patient with myself. I set all my anxieties and fears aside and just let my body do it’s job. I am strong.
10.) Stop this: Maybe I should just give up. It’s not meant to be. SPEAK LIFE: I don’t give negativity a second thought. I am on fire with the gift of motherhood. I am full of so much love. I visualize sharing my love with my children. I will be a great mother.
God bless you all on your journey and please be kind and speak life to yourself!
Right now, the wait doesn’t make sense, but I promise you, when you are holding your child for the first time, it will all finally make sense.
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