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Striving to answer the call to motherhood and wifeyhood with joy, Jesus, and crazy dancing.

Adoption: Encouragement for The Waiting

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I recently shared a post called 5 Tips to Survive the Adoption Wait. Those tips and just staying busy and faithful really do help while you are waiting for your child via adoption. But sometimes, while you’re waiting, you just have a bad day or a bad week. We probably all have them. Everything builds up or you’re left alone with your thoughts for too long and the sadness, fear, and even anger slip in.

You might think to yourself….I just want to be a mom NOW! Or I just want my family to finally be complete!

If you’re having one of those days or weeks, this is for you…

Adoption encouragement for the waiting

Today I’m fine, content even; trying to live my life normally in between the moments of anxiety. I’m anxious for my child. I’m anxious for my family to be complete.

I sip a coffee and munch a muffin and I’m happy.

Most days I “keep the faith” and “trust in God’s plan and timing” and I do all right. I’m happy and living in the moment, until I’m not.

I’m happy and happy and happy and then BAM the next day, no, the next minute, I’m curled up in my bed, husband’s arms around me, crying soft tears. Tears because I’m missing my child whom I haven’t yet met.

Then a few more tears of impatience slip out. We’ve been waiting and waiting and still, no child. People offer unsolicited encouragement and advice, “It will happen, be patient,” “Don’t worry you’re still young,” and “You know when you finally adopt, you’ll get pregnant.” 

I smile at them and say thanks and then secretly scream at them in my head, “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS LIKE” and “I DO TRUST IN GOD, BUT, I WANT IT NOW!” I know they probably had good intentions.

Or I’m happy and happy and happy and then BAM I’m angry. Angry and disgusted that millions of babies are being mindlessly murdered; babies that could be mine. Babies that could be loved by me. Babies that could be loved by thousands of people waiting like me.

Many almost children have touched our path: a newly born baby girl that we traveled many miles to pick up, a premature little boy, a 15 month old girl, and even a sibling group of five. All of them God’s sweet children, but all of them not chosen to be our children for some reason.

Then comes the part of the cycle, where I dry my tears, dig deep, and get back to happy. Waiting and waiting, but happy. Faithful and content. I get back to living, waiting, but living.

Adoption encouragement 2I move on knowing I may cry more tears in the future and that’s okay. You can’t be “cured” of missing your future child. I resolve to turn those tears into prayers. Prayers for my little almost children. Prayers for my future son or daughter. Prayers for my future child’s birthparents.

I imagine the first time I’ll see my little one. I imagine my baby girl or boy being gently placed into my arms. I imagine that moment, because it’s the moment where the anxiety, sadness, and anger will melt away. It will all make sense. THIS child is the one we’ve been waiting for. It will all be so clear. We had to wait for this very child. This was God’s plan.

So, rather than wait for that “a-ha moment” when my child arrives, I draw that future imagine in as fuel for faith during the waiting. Faith in God’s plan and timing that my dream of becoming a mother to another little one will come true.

To all of you waiting, you are not alone. The waiting is nearly impossible some days. But there may be many days of waiting. So, you can either chose to live those days in perpetual sadness and anger or you can turn your emotions into fuel for faith and patience. Faith that someday soon, you’ll get your moment; the moment when you finally meet your child for the first time. In that moment, it will all make sense.

Blessings on your adoption journey. Let’s keep in touch! Please connect via Facebook or Twitter.

Natasha

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26 thoughts on “Adoption: Encouragement for The Waiting

  1. This post brought tears to my eyes! I personally have not had these experiences of waiting for an adopted child, but I have many dear friends and family members who have. The real feelings you share are touching. I love that you have turned your pain into prayers, which is something I can incorporate into my own life. Thank you for this example!

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  2. I can’t imagine what a hard process this must be. I’m terribly impatient, so the waiting would be very, very hard for me. The “almosts” would also be so heartbreaking. You’re a very strong woman and mother. It’s so wonderful that you put this out there for others struggling and going through the adoption process. There’s some comfort when you feel you’re not alone.

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  3. Some day I think we will like to adopt, you are so strong, keep the faith

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  4. This is such a profound post. My grandfather wrote a lot and my all-time favourite poem of his writes “Life is the great mystery, God disdains reply, To the impertinent questioning of man’s untrusting ‘Why?’ Crosses and tribulations are but blessings in disguise, things that bring us sorrow are sent to make us wise…”
    It goes on from there. I can’t pretend to know what this feels like but I too have asked God why the fertility of some comes so easily when more deserving people can struggle so greatly. All I know (and you know much better than I do) that adoption is an incredible journey that ultimately matches you with the kids you were meant to have in your family your whole life.
    Thank you for your candour and for such a beautiful post ❤

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  5. Waiting for anything can be so hard but in adoption, so much is out of your control. Praying this post offers encouragement to just the right people!

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  6. Praying for strength as you go through this process! What a wonderful thing you are doing for a beautiful child!

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  7. My partner went through so much on her path to becoming a mother. It is difficult to weather all the ups and downs of the adoption process. Thank you for sharing your story and encouragement for others!

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  8. This is so beautiful. We are seriously thinking of looking into adoption and one of the reasons we are hesitating is because we are fearful of the waiting. We are fearful we will never be chosen and it will be too much to bear. Your words give me hope knowing that maybe that is the path we need to jump into. I have been there with the “why do they get a child” and the fact that millions of kids are abused and it all seems so unfair. You are so strong keep it up, praying for you!

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  9. I couldn’t imagine waiting! A girl I went to school with ended up adopting and she started a blog talking about the whole process and her feelings etc. I would read it even though I really didn’t know her that well and omg… Made me want to cry sometimes because of some of the hard stuff she was dealing with :-/

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  10. We have friends that have just started their adoption journey in hopes of bringing home a little boy from Korea. I’m going to share this post with them.

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  11. Beautiful! I can’t imagine having to go through all that waiting but I love your outlook, especially the ‘fuel for the faith’ part.

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  12. You’re an amazing woman! Strong and kind hearted. I have been saying prayers for you regarding your adoption journey. And I truly look forward to reading all about your future child when your family is complete! 💜

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  13. You are an amazing woman! I’ve been saying some prayers for you! I look forward to reading all about your child when your family is complete!

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  14. Your posts are always so wonderful. Honest about the good and bad, but there’s always something positive to take away. Nothing I can say could possibly be of help for your wait, but just know you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

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  15. Wow, it’s like I was meant to find this post! I plan to adopt one day (as I will never be able to conceive naturally) so thank you so much for posting this 🙂 I am definitely putting this to my ‘favourites’.

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    • Lor, I’m so glad you found me too! Sending a prayer up for your adoption journey! The waiting is hard, but totally worth it in the end. Hang in there and let me know if I can help in any way!

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  16. I can’t even imagine what the waiting process is like – a whirlwind of emotions. So amazing to turn those tears into prayers and know that baby will arrive when the time is right!

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  17. I am so glad that you wrote this because I have a friend that is going through the adoption process and I often feel like I put my foot in my mouth. Your posts about this give me the way to be encouraging and supportive. Thanks! And will be thinking and praying for you and your child. 🙂

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  18. Stay strong and remain hopeful. I understand your pain and impatience in the waiting process. It’s only a phone call away. We were called one morning at 10:00 and met our second daughter that same day at 5:00 p.m. Praying for your strength.

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