Giggle Giggle Toot Roar

Striving to answer the call to motherhood and wifeyhood with joy, Jesus, and crazy dancing.

5 Tips to Survive the Adoption Wait

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Right when I think I’m ready to write about how the adoption waiting period is much easier the second time around, I have a few weeks in a row that prove that theory false. I can remember the wait for our first baby, it was fairly agonizing at times and there were moments when I was definitely not waiting with much grace. I was trusting in God’s plan and timing, but still, it was hard and emotional, because I JUST WANTED TO BE A MOM! I can remember long conversations with God, questioning him, begging him, borderline making deals with him, if he would just hurry up and give me my baby already.

And then a month before my sister was due with her twin boys, I received a call from our adoption agency that our twin boys were born five days prior and were ready for us to pick them up. That was an a-ha moment and reminder of God’s perfect plan and timing. He had our sons picked out for us; I just needed to be patient.

High on emotions and fresh off infertility fun, I didn’t do the wait as well as I could have the first time. So, I vowed to wait with more grace the second time around.

I’m doing much better this time, because I do trust that God will bring us the child that he wants to be ours. And with each situation that comes up and then ends in heartbreak, I try to stand firm in the fact that I was meant to be in that situation for a time for some reason, even if to just send extra prayers up for baby and birthmom. I’m also an extremely busy mom of twin toddlers, so that helps keep the mind busy!

I still have moments of doubt and crazy during this wait too.

Has anyone else waiting had any thoughts like these?

adoption waitIs anything going on? Is our profile book or letter even being shown? If it is being shown, why aren’t we being picked? Do they not like our book or even worse, us? Should I change something in our book or update the photos? If our profile book or letter isn’t being shown, why not? Did I choose the right agency? I thought they were so busy? Why aren’t they working with more birthmothers?

Whether you are waiting to be matched with your first child or your second or your third, or more, the waiting can feel nearly impossible at times. All you can really do is set yourself up for success by completing your home study, choosing reputable agencies, and creating an awesome profile book and/or birthparent letter. After that you have to just LET GO and TRUST, trust your agency and most importantly, trust in God’s plan and timing. He has chosen your child for you; sometimes it just takes a while to be brought together!

You might not know it now, but this waiting period is actually a blessing or at least you can turn it into a blessing. Once you have your child and you join the ranks of other exhausted, sleep-deprived parents, then you will wish you had turned your waiting period into a blessing! I know I did!

Here are 5 tips to Survive the Adoption Wait.

  1. Get Right with Yourself: This baby or child will NOT complete you! You have to be complete before you welcome baby home. The wait is your chance to get right with yourself. Suggestions: Exercise, eat healthy, pamper yourself with bubble baths and massages, be spontaneous and carefree, spend time with your friends, do the thing you say you’ve always wanted to do, take up that hobby you’ve always wanted to try, and connect with other families blessed by adoption.
  2. Get Right with Your Marriage: This baby or child will NOT finally make your marriage perfect. If things are already great in your marriage, work to keep them great! The wait is your chance to get or stay right with your marriage. Suggestions: Take a vacation (even a mini-vacation if it’s all you can swing), savor date nights and sleeping in late, spend time with your friends, work on the areas of your marriage that need work, talk about how you’ll parent and discipline, prepare for how you will deal with and answer crazy things people will say/ask you in regards to adoption.
  3. Get Prepared for Your New Addition: It may take some time, but probably on the day that you least expect it, you will finally get the glorious call. The call when you find out you are parents! The wait is your chance to get ready for your baby or child. Suggestions: Find a pediatrician, start child-proofing your house, work on the nursery, purchase books on adoption for you and baby, complete a baby registry at your favorite store, put together a “go” bag for when you receive the call, start researching travel arrangements if you have to travel.
  4. Get Your Family Prepared: If you are blessed to have family support during the adoption process, take time to get your family prepared for what to expect during the wait and for when you finally get the call. The wait is your chance to get your family on board and as excited as you are about your adoption journey and the little one on the way. Suggestions: Help them understand open adoption, prepare them for what to expect during the process and about potential heart breaks, discuss what kind of child you have decided you are open to, be honest with them about what you need and how they can show their support both now and when you bring your child home, explain to them why you may not want to play pass the baby with the entire extended family when you return.
  5. Get Your Prayer On: Like I said earlier, you can only control so much of the adoption process and the rest you just have to trust the journey and give it to God. Give him your fears and anxieties. It won’t help you to be filled with anything but expectant joy as you wait for your little one. That is easier said than done for sure, but praying versus fretting will help. Suggestions: Pray for contentment in your decisions, pray for your child’s safety and health, pray for your child’s birthparents, pray for patience, grace, and joy during the wait, pray for your significant other, pray for the workers at your agency, and pray for help staying calm!

If you can manage to turn the waiting period into a blessing, you will be happy you did and better prepared for your miracle when he or she arrives.

What would you add to the list? How are you surviving the wait?

Blessings on your adoption journey!

Love,

Natasha

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36 thoughts on “5 Tips to Survive the Adoption Wait

  1. Thank you for this! We have been struggling with the wait. We have been trusting God in his timing, but it has been tough lately. This post is encouraging!

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  2. Pingback: Adoption: Encouragement for The Waiting | Giggle Giggle Toot Roar

  3. Such an encouraging post! And a very timely reminder for me. My husband and are in the process to adopt though the foster system. We just finished our home study, let the waiting begin!

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  4. Pingback: Mom 2 Mom Monday Link-Up #44 - My Joy-Filled Life

  5. This is such great advice! I love the idea of using the wait to get your life in order BEFORE your child arrives. Also good advice for couples who are in the process of TTC, which can also be a difficult wait. Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!

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  6. I can’t even imagine how stressful this time might be. Really great story, thanks for sharing!

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  7. Oh these are SUCH great tips… your wisdom and insight is so important! Sharing!! I’m so glad I came by to read this. Your words and your blog are beautiful!

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  8. I have never dealt with this personally, but I can only imagine how difficult it is to wait for your next sweet baby!! I know God’s timing is always perfect.. but we are only human and it can be hard to not get impatient!!

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  9. I don’t have any experience with adoption but imagine the waiting would be very hard. Love your tips about being right with yourself and your marriage.

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  10. Some great tips! Hang in there Mama.

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  11. These are great suggestions. Keeping your mind and body busy while you wait is a great way to not only prepare, but it’s a great distraction, too!

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  12. How did I not know you also had twin toddlers! Wish we lived closer and could have playdates. Anyways, great advice. I recently had some friends going through adoption. The first time it didn’t work out, but it did the second time, and they now have a beautiful little girl. The wait was so hard for them. Thank you for sharing your story, and I’ll send them to your blog to read too.

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    • They just turned 3! I wish we were closer too! Let me know if you make it back to WI again! I’m glad everything worked out for your friends and hope it does again if they decide to adopt again and thanks for sending them my way!

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  13. Great tips for finding patience during a trying time. I’m glad God finally allowed your dream to come true.

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  14. How wonderful is it that we leave things up to God, and he provides?! PRAISE!

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  15. I’ve never gone through the process, but my husband and I do have friends that have and I know it was tough. It took a long time for them to get their baby girl, but they finally did. I’m going to share your post with them, as I know they’ll be able to relate. Truly a beautiful and heartfelt post that I’m sure will encourage others going through the same process ❤

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  16. Haven’t thought anyone can give tips about this too. But, really well written. It must be so important to get yourself and your family in that mindset. 🙂

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  17. I loved this! So many adoption posts can be heartbreaking (and that’s they’re truth) but this one is honest and constructive which is refreshing! My husband and I are thinking about adoption once we get settled into a our new house. It’s a little overwhelming but the beauty of it all will make up for it, I’m sure.

    Katy
    http://www.alittledailyhappiness.com

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    • Katy, God bless on your adoption journey and let me know if I can help answer any questions along the way! It’s a crazy ride, but totally worth it!

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  18. Ah this post brought a tear to my eye. Just reading the first few paragraphs about your sons and the timing of it all gave me chills. My husband and I have 2 babies and would love to have one more and adopt one. It is something I have been praying about for years and my husband has since we were married because he knew it was a desire of mine and it has since become his desire as well, which I am thankful for. I know God’s timing will be perfect because it always is, but I am really nervous about the whole process when the time comes. This is a great post with really useful tips. I know from other families who I know personally, they got the call when they least expected it, so being prepared is a really good tip.

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    • Logan, the adoption process isn’t always easy for sure, but totally worth it in the end. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me and please know I’ll keep you and your husband in my prayers! Don’t be nervous! Just trust! I appreciate you stopping by!

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  19. Great great post! Thank you for sharing your experience. This will definitely help others!

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