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Striving to answer the call to motherhood and wifeyhood with joy, Jesus, and crazy dancing.

Book Worm Wednesday: Naked Parenting by Leah DeCesare

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No this is not a book about how to parent while wearing less clothing. Sorry if that disappoints you! I’m not judging. Okay, I am judging, ya weirdo. Just kidding. Okay, not just kidding.

Anyway, this is a quick, easy read with some great advice on raising confident kids.

Here are my top ten favorite tidbits from the book.

Book Worm Wednesday: Naked Parenting: 7 Keys to Raising Kids with Confidence
by Leah DeCesare

1.) “Nothing you can do or say will make me stop loving you.”

I definitely want me children to know this throughout their lives! No matter how upset Mommy gets, no matter how naughty you act, nothing you can do will change how much I love you! Yes, there will be consequences to your actions, but they do not change my unconditional love for you.

“Make sure they know they are loved! “Douse them in kisses. Let the ‘I love you’s’ flow. Smoosh them in hugs and be present.”

2.) “Building in free time, family time and unstructured time is just as important as providing opportunities for kids to gain new experiences and build their skills in sports, music and other enrichment activities.”

This is so difficult to remember in our society today. It seems like sports and extracurriculars jam-pack our kid’s schedules and are always more important than family time together. We want our children to have as many opportunities as possible to help them grow and to become well-rounded individuals. Let’s not forget that dinners together, game nights, and family road trips are important sports too!

3.) “Be honest in your praise and assessment of your children’s strengths and weaknesses.”

We just want to encourage our kids and see them succeed right!? I’ve never subscribed to the every child gets a medal philosophy. Doesn’t an award for 25th place teach our kids that they will be rewarded for mediocrity in the future? It doesn’t teach them the truth that they will fail in the future. Sure, I’m not going to tell my two year that he stinks at basketball. It’s too soon to know if he stinks at basketball. BUT, I am careful not to congratulate him and cheer after every awful shot he takes. I cheer after the baskets he makes and when he misses one by a mile, I say something like, “Oops, that one didn’t go in, try again.” Just an example, but you get it.

4.) “Children should know they can get honest answers from their parents about anything. Questions are opportunities to share values and beliefs….Through open communication, kids know they can come to you for honest answers and they know you respect their questions and won’t laugh at them.”

Please Lord, help my kids to always feel comfortable to come to mommy and daddy with ANY questions about ANYTHING. Please Lord, help mommy and daddy prove through our behavior and communication that we welcome ANY questions about ANYTHING from our children. Please Lord, don’t let my children learn about the “important stuff” from the media or from other children.

Naked Parenting5.) “Notice how often you speak for your kids instead of letting them talk….By encouraging kids to communicate their own needs and questions, you’re letting them know you believe in them and they’re learning self-sufficiency and independence; qualities that will serve them throughout life.”

6.) “Teaching kids how to set goals, and map out mini-goals along the path, is giving them the tools to really be anything they want to be.”

I think we forget this part sometimes as parents. We encourage our kids to dream big and tell them that they can be whatever they want to be, but we forget to teach them the tools to turn their dreams into reality.

7.) “If you don’t want to take it away, don’t say you will. If you say you’ll take it away, then you must follow through.”

This quote is from the “Naked Discipline” chapter. This one is tough! In the heat of the moment, sometimes we blurt out consequences that later we wish we wouldn’t have. If we say it, we really have to follow through or else we are teaching our kids that they can get away with stuff and that we don’t keep our word.

8.) “Don’t rob your child of the accomplishment, of the success after the hard work, because you don’t want him to feel frustrated. Let him feel the tough emotions, stand beside him to support him and love him, but he must go right through the crummy stuff to get to the good stuff.”

So true, but so hard. We don’t want our little people to suffer in any way, but we have to remember we won’t always be immediately by their side to protect them from everything.

9.) “When our oldest was a baby, we began the tradition of taking a fresh cut from our Christmas tree and writing the date and a special memory of that year’s celebration on the wedge. We now have a basket full of tree trunks and it’s a wonderful time each year when we pull them out and read them.”

I just love this idea! I think we’ll start this tradition!

10.) “Let kids in on aspects of the family finances at age-appropriate levels.”

You obviously aren’t going to overwhelm your four year old with how many bills mommy and daddy have to pay every month. BUT teaching your kids about money, how to earn it, save it, share it, and how much things cost not only teaches them about finances, but also about gratitude.
Hope you enjoyed my top ten tidbits from this book!

Love,

Natasha

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8 thoughts on “Book Worm Wednesday: Naked Parenting by Leah DeCesare

  1. Hi, Natasha. I love Leah and her book. Another of my favorite takeaways is that the parents set the tone for the family. whether joyful or angry, etc. We parents should all take that to heart.

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  2. This is really good and very helpful reminders. Thanks so much. I know I will be reading this list that you have on your post over and over. I will share it with my husband and friends too. Maybe I should check out the book. I appreciate you sharing your personal thoughts too. A can say “Me Too” on just about everything you said.

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  3. Important points! Especially #1! I love this post! It sometimes was hard to remind our teenager that we love him, LOL. He is a freshman in college. Those sweet moments of uninterrupted family time seem invaluable now.

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  4. Those are good tips. I agree that it is important to be honest about strengths and weaknesses (but not hurtful).

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